Staying Home....

For the past 6 months, I was debating on going back to work or not. I've been staying home for two years with my 2 1/2 year old son. I have so much fun with him! I've prayed allot and ask God to give me a sign for me to stay home. I applied at several places. I got a phone call from a Company that pays very well (at the time of the application, they listed of hours and the pay). I get a phone call and it was more like a "Phone Interview". I heard what they had to say and offer. Well, unfortunately I had to turn it down. When I applied for the job, the hours were listed 6am-3:30pm Mon-Friday. When she told me the hours and the days I was going to work, nope sorry I can't do it. The hours were 9am-7:30 or 8pm Tues-Saturday and be off Sunday and Monday. I will never get to see my son!

We put him down for bed at least by 8:30. My husband is a Nurse and he takes call every other two weeks. It will be hard for us with our little guy. Who's going to watch him? Both my mother and mother-n-law work on Saturdays as well. It will be hard and especially not be able to see Gavin all day let alone see him at least before bed! So that was a sign that I needed to stay home. Another good sign is that my friend was looking for a sitter for her son. It would be good for Gavin to have a friend around and play. So i think this is going to work. I will stay home with my son until he is ready to go to school. This is an excuse for me to stay home anyway. I'm finding myself spending on things that we don't need. I do take my son to the Library and to playgrounds, Sea World, and Movies. But this is not everyday. Just to keep him busy for the summer. He loves it though. We have fun with each other everyday. Now that my mind is off searching for a job, my mind and time is going towards my son. I was telling my husband the other day I feel like I don't give him all my attention that he needs. I'm always in the kitchen cleaning, doing laundry, just house work. My husband told me you do have chores to do. I read some one's blog the other day about how you should spend more time with your children. Because they can do feel it. They feel when they're being ignored and not loved. I do tell my son that I love him everyday and he tells me. Also in her blog that the Internet, phone, texting, checking your email and messages on the phone, facebooking etc can wait til the end of the day when they go to sleep. Spend more time with your children, talk to them, sing and read to them. Take them for walks, show them nature. Don't' rush them because you have a billions things to do or in a hurry to get some where. That place will always be there when you get there. If the store is close, then try back tomorrow. If you know you have an appointment with a doctor or anywhere, get his diaper bag ready the night before. Pack his snacks, drinks and toys. I've been doing that allot. I was that one person where I would rush. And as I look back, it hurts me because they don't know any better. I had found myself getting frustrated because I was running late, didn't have things ready and yelling at him to hurry up so I can wash his face, brush this teeth and get dress. It's not their fault. I also found myself ignoring my son and husband while I'm on my phone facebooking, texting and they wanted my attention. My husband will tell me about his day at work and my eyes where on my phone and not at him. Now that I think more about it while I'm typing this it's frustrating me. 'Why, why am I doing this to my family"? They give me their attention when I talk to them. This is what I wanted....a family. To Love, to spend time with them, to care for them.

So I made a goal where for now on I will give all my attention to my family when we are together. And once in bed, then I can blog, facebooking and etc. It won't be every night. But it will be checked. I will cherish every moment with my son. I've been asking for him for a long time and now that he's here, I need to give my full attention to him. Don't get me wrong I do give him attention and the love that he deserves, BUT I feel like I don't.

I'm going to share the quote and the blog that this woman wrote. Hope you like it.

"They may forgot what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel".

I love this quote more than ever, I think all of us mothers need to hear it.

I sometimes feel sorry for our children. I am sure our mother had their own distractions, but it can't be anything compared to what we have today. Not only are we expected to do so much more in addition to raising our children and keeping our house, we also have so many more opportunities to be distracted by technology: phones, email, the intranet.

And no matter how convenient all this technology makes our lives, it also pulls us away from the stuff that really matters. We all know it is no fun to talk to someone who is constantly being disrupted by a cell phone, or to carry on a conversation with someone whose mind is elsewhere. How can children feel differently? They know when we are really listening, and we know that children thrive with real attention.....the kind where we are not just present physically but mentally as well. Do we make them feel important when we are multi-tasking them into our lives? How may moments are we missing with so many distractions? Do they feel like a priority when they see us unavailable to them because we are on the phone, or on the computer? Are we constantly rushing them because we have a million places to go or a long list to-do's?

This little quotation is a reminder to us all I think. It is a call to slow down, it is a call to log off, it is a call to leave that cell phone unanswered, to STOP and listen to our children, to be PRESENT. When we are not distracted all day long, we have the ability to be engaged with our families. When we are engaged with our families, we are more calm and centered and tuned in to our children. Our children feel worthy of our attention and love.
And that's the feeling they will carry with them into adulthood, and never forget.

By Sarah-Clover Lane